My musical doesn’t sound so crazy NOW, does it?! (Or: I am the oracle Marvel deserves, but not the one that — nope, screw that, call me, Marvel, call me … maybe?)

Happy Sunday, world. This has been a pretty amazing week of amazingness:

(1) My hero Weird Al not only released a new album, but it contained this absolute gem of a song, devoted to grammar.
(Obligatory linguist comment: Yes, as a syntactician, my professional view on prescriptive grammar rules is that they are obsolete and don’t adequately define the natural use of human language. But I don’t care. This song is hilarious and I’ll not apologize for already having it memorized).

(2) I spent several hours researching weird shower curtains. What does that have to do with music? Nothing at all. This blog has gone geek-rogue, people.

Last, but the complete opposite of least:
(3) Marvel announced that starting in the next major Thor story arc, Thor will be female.

There probably are not enough exclamation points in the world to communicate how excited I am about this, but let me try:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An accurate depiction of my face when I heard the news. Also an accurate depiction of my skills drawing in Paint.

An accurate depiction of my face when I heard the news. Also an accurate depiction of my skills drawing in Paint.

And, to the – no exaggeration – 14 different people who texted, emailed, or facebooked me within 5 hours of the announcement: I am (inexplicably) not yet in charge of Valhalla, but should I ever be, you are guaranteed entry.

The new Thor is not a reboot. Instead, old Thor will somehow become unworthy of Mjolnir, which then passes on to a new female character, along with his … name? title? I have to be honest, it is a little unclear to me how a random person can become Thor. Is Thor a position now, like President, Captain America, or Chief Ice Cream Taster? Can one study to become a Thor, because if so, I did college very, very wrong.

Another curious issue is what happens to old Thor – Does he hang around and start going by a new name like “Bob” or “the-demigod-formerly-known-as-Thor,” or does he disappear off to the tropics to oil his insanely large muscles in obscurity? I personally think that Billy-Bob Thorton goes to Tahiti would make a fantastic spin-off series (Loki would of course be the sassy cabana-boy nemesis who puts itching powder in Bob’s towel and occasionally terrorizes the tourists as a shark). Sadly, I’ve heard that old Thor will not only stick around, but will still be called Thor because that’s his birthname (Ah, I see. It’s a name AND a title! So when I complete my degree in Norse-Godliness, and then legally change my name to Thor, I can be known as Thor the Thor. Fantastic).

The most pressing question for me, though, is whether becoming Thor, Goddess of Thunder means that the new lady also becomes Odin’s daughter. If that’s the case … honey, I am so, SO sorry. And, uh, while we’re chatting, have you met your new brother yet? Why do I ask? No reason … you know what, maybe just start therapy now, okay?

In all seriousness though, unlike many people on the internet, I’m not actually worried about any of these things. I am enjoying Jason Aaron’s run with Thor, and I think he’s going to take this story in a creative, exciting direction. The only thing that could make it better is if they had found a way to make Loki female too, but alas, the premise seems to rule that out (for any new visitors, here are my reasons for wanting a female Loki, and no, Lady Loki does not count).

Anyways, bravo, Marvel, bravo! Now, any interest in making a plucky female Thor musical? I might know someone.

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