Frozen Realm

Here we go! Song 1 of TFW is “Frozen Realm,” set during the war between Asgard and Jotunheim, and ending with Odin ‘adopting’ Loki (Adoption laws? The Allfather is not bound by your petty Midgardian notions!)

I have unfortunately been unable to find an instrumental version of “Frozen Heart,”so I have not been able to make a recording with my lyrics. If anyone has or knows of an instrumental copy, please let me know where you got it (this also applies to the reprise of “For the first time in forever”)!

Instead, I got to try my hand at Windows movie maker for the first time ((1) be kind, internet, be kind; (2) yes, I know, I incur everyone’s scorn for using such a remedial video editor. I accept that.) and made the video with scenes from the movie. We’ll see if/when youtube gets very upset about this. Future videos should at least be less likely to invoke their ire, as they will involve me. And wigs. Well, a wig. Thor either needs some more blonde main characters, or I need to write a Frigga song, because a girl can only own so many dark haired wigs.

FROZEN REALM – sing along, with video!

Asgardians:
Born of cold and winter air
And magic deep residing
These frozen spawn from Ymir’s lair
Create chaos unsubsiding

To thwart  their insidious power lust
Our cause is clear our cause is just
These monsters whom we dare not trust
Don’t let them overwhelm
Destroy the frozen realm

Hyup! Ho!
Strike them down
Blood will flow!

(repeat)

Jotnar: 
Beautiful, powerful!

Asgardians:
Dangerous, cold!

Jotnar:
Ice has a magic can’t be controlled
Stronger than one, stronger than 10
Stronger than 100 men! Hah!

Born of cold and winter air
And magic deep residing
The icy force of Ymir’s heirs
From a casket long abiding

Asgardians:
So turn the tide and smash to dust
Our cause is clear our cause is just
Whatever comes we ne’er will trust
Don’t let them overwhelm
Beware the frozen realm

Thor: The Frozen World

I saw Frozen with my friend Shannon and her husband just before Christmas. This was after about 3 weeks of trying, with increasingly frenzied desperation, to see the movie, and getting repeatedly thwarted by car theft, work deadlines, and polar vortices. So, the first thing I did when I arrived to my parents’ home for Christmas was to turn back around and march to the movie theatre. A Disney movie about sisters? With a message about accepting yourself? This was the first princess movie I had been truly excited about since The Little Mermaid, and I was around 5 then, so this is saying something.

I knew a bit about the plot going in, so it only took 10 minutes – right in the middle of ‘Do you want to build a snowman?’ – for me to grab Shannon’s arm. “Shannon, this movie has almost the exact same plot as Thor,” I whispered, far more loudly than one should ever whisper during a movie. I would have hated me right then, but luckily, Shannon is a far better person.

What?”

Thor! You know, Thor! Norse gods, the giant hammer, Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston…

Who?

She’s also slightly less into superhero movies.

Shhh.” Her husband poked her on her other arm. Shannon looked at me apologetically.

I fidgeted in my seat until a few minutes later, when Elsa’s coronation day is completely interrupted by her sister. “Mm!” I mumbled, grabbing Shannon’s arm again, but managing to stay silent.

Of course, I was not the only one to notice similarities, as a quick internet search revealed. Since Frozen came out, many fans have noticed that the song ‘Let it Go’ seems particularly appropriate for one Mister Loki Laufeyson, God of Mischief. I even found a couple of very cute drawings based on ‘Do you want to build a snowman?’ (There may be more, but after coming across a severely disturbing image involving the entire cast of Avengers as animals – really, internet, really? – I decided to stop).

What I didn’t see though, was anyone suggesting what I had concluded: Frozen is the Disney musical version of the Thor franchise.

In my world, there is only one logical response to this kind of ridiculous juxtaposition, and that is to write a musical version of Thor and Thor: The Dark World, starring princesses and based on the music from Frozen.

And so I did.

Here is the songlist for Thor: The Frozen World, staring Thor and Loki Odinsdottir (although, if you happen to prefer your Norse Gods male, and 18 million screaming Tom Hiddleston fans seem to suggest that yes, yes you might, this can easily become a Disney prince musical):

1. Frozen realm  – Asgardians, Frost giants           (Based on ‘Frozen Heart’ from Frozen)

2. I just can’t wait to be queen   -Thor, Loki          (Based on ‘I just can’t wait to be king’ from The Lion King)

3. Forever -Thor, Loki                                                (Based on ‘For the first time in forever’ from Frozen)

4. Forever reprise  – Loki, Thor                                (Based on ‘For the first time in forever’ from Frozen)

5. Endless night – Thor                                              (Based on ‘Endless night’ from The Lion King)

6. On Asgard – Darcy                                                 (Based on ‘In summer’ from Frozen)

7. Love is an open door – Jane, Thor                      (Based on ‘Love is an open door’ from Frozen)

8. Let it go – Loki                                                        (Based on ‘Let it go’ from Frozen)

9. Forever reprise 2 – Loki, Thor                             (Based on ‘For the first time in forever reprise’ from Frozen)

10. Do you want to go exploring – Thor, Loki       (Based on ‘Do you want to build a snowman’ from Frozen)

11. Do you want to go exploring reprise – Thor    (Based on ‘Do you want to build a snowman’ from Frozen)

I will post 1-2 songs every Thursday, starting tonight with ‘Frozen Realm.’ Enjoy!

Applying Antisymmetry

The other day I was washing dishes and singing “Defying Gravity” (as one does), while absently thinking through a problem I am having with a current analysis, and it occurred to me just how well the word ‘antisymmetry’ fit with the song.

So, in honor of starting this blog right before Valentine’s day, I’ve decided to write a fake parody album called Love Songs for Linguistic Theories, to eventually include DM, LFG, and OT, among others – if you have a request, let me know in the comments! For now, here are the lyrics to “Applying Antisymmetry.” For any interested non-linguists out there, learn about Antisymmetry here.

I like to imagine that this scene starts with Ricki picking up Image and discovering that it can cast powerful, irreversible spells on sentence structure.

APPLYING ANTISYMMETRY (dedicated to Richard Kayne) Sing along

GRAD STUDENT RICKI
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through deriving by the rules
Of Mister Chomsky’s fame
Too late for late insertion
Too late to try last resort
It’s time to be dynamic
Come out and show support!
It’s time to try
Applying antisymmetry
I think I’ll try
Applying antisymmetry
And you won’t crash my tree!

GRAD STUDENT MINNIE
Can’t I make you understand?
Not everything is head initial…

RICKI
I’m through with processing limits
’cause someone says they’re so
Some things I can’t derive
But till I try, I’ll never know!
Too long I’ve been afraid that
Remnant movement means I’ve lost
Well, if it works
I’ll take it whatever the cost!
And so I’ll buy
Applying antisymmetry
Kiss me goodbye
I’m applying antisymmetry
And you can’t crash my tree.

(spoken) Minnie, come with me.
Think of what we could
write, together.

(sung) Unlimited
Together we’re unlimited
Together we’ll have the best CV
There’s ever been
Minnie –
Trees, the way we planned ’em

MINNIE
If we merge in tandem

BOTH
There’s no data we can’t explain
Just you and I
Applying Antisymmetry
With you and I
Applying Antisymmetry

RICKI
They’ll never crash our tree!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?

MINNIE
I hope you’re happy
Now that you’re choosing this

RICKI
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH
I really hope that you’re sure
And you don’t miss out on tenure
I hope you’re happy in the end
I hope you’re happy, my friend

RICKI
So if you care to find me
Call me at NYU!
For this is my new motto:
‘I cannot live in fear of peer review!’
And if I publish solo
At least I publish free
To those who cite me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
applying antisymmetry
I’m no bad guy for
applying antisymmetry
And soon I’ll match them in renown
And nobody in all the field
Whatever theory they may wield
Is ever gonna crash my tree!

MINNIE
I hope you’re happy!

LINGUIST MOB
Look at her, she’s wicked!
Get her!

RICKI
Crash my tree!

LINGUIST MOB
No one cites the wicked
So we’ve got to crash her –

RICKI
Ahhh!

LINGUIST MOB
– Tree!